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Identity can be defined as the unique combination of characteristics, beliefs, values, and experiences that make an individual who they are. It encompasses one's sense of self, including their personal and social identities, such as their gender, ethnicity, nationality, and cultural background. Identity is shaped by various factors, including genetics, upbringing, environment, and personal choices. It is a complex and multifaceted concept that influences how individuals perceive themselves and how they are perceived by others.
If I think back to a time when my identity felt most natural, most freely flowing, feeling most able to be my "self", childhood comes to mind. As a very young child, I don't recall experiencing fear of another person's reaction to the words I would say or the actions I might take. I didn't feel judged because most people simply took the perspective of, "Oh, she's just a child". I spoke the things that were immediately on the heart or mind, not trying carefully and selectively which words to speak. I was also open to listen to others and offer the same judgment-free environment I knew as my reality.
I don't know when that began to change. I mean, I don't remember exactly how old I was when fear began to creep in--causing me to question if I should say something aloud. I do believe that observing relationships and the behaviors of others, in regard to their perspectives of others, is what cultivated the environment for a change in my behavior patterns. Let me explain with an example. (Note this is not a true example, but it is a similar example to those faded memories I have of childhood circumstances.) Let's say I was hanging out in a group of girls and someone said something that was a bit outside of the culturally set "norm", then, maybe later on, when the group was broken up into a separate smaller group---that did not include the girl that said something that might be perceived as "different"-- this statement was brought up among the group of girls, and a derogatory connotation was derived and a new reality was birthed, a new label or identity was then born for that girl, "weird".
I sit here and shake my head at it. I wish I'd have had the words to describe what happened in those moments in those days when I witnessed such events. I have the words now. I just have to take the time to put them together. Words hold power. As the word labeling, "weird", the young girl got back to her--that small world held the power within it to change the way she sees herself, to alter her identity. Ultimately, that may depend on the ultimate awareness that person holds in regards to their identity and whether they choose to believe and allow what was said to become their truth, but at a young age, identity is more easily molded and shaped, especially subject to peers.
Those types of words changed me, they changed my perspective on how I could share myself, in how I could safely express "me" to not be labeled "weird" and they changed the perception I had of those who did the labeling, as they became "possibly unsafe" to share all of me with. I didn't want to end up in the same social boat that the girl labeled "weird" was in, I know that it was superficial, but I think it was a coping mechanism to try to survive the culture I was experiencing.
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure with which you use, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2--- What if this verse speaks more of the people you are surrounding yourself with than it does to judgment. If you are surrounding yourself with people that are having discussions to determine how to label someone or gossiping, then, it is likely they will do the same in regard to you. Labeling you when you are not in their presence. Then, being caught up in that culture, you too will become that way.
Perhaps that is where the fear came in. My trust in this group of girls died a little that day, and fear was born in its place. Unfortunately, this put me into a place where I began judging the people around me, as either "safe or unsafe/ trustworthy or untrustworthy" and also, "weird or normal"---whatever that social construct means. I guarantee you the God who formed that "weird" little girl knew exactly what she was going to say. He was never caught off guard and didn't need to have a little side meeting with others to decide if she needed a new label. No, the One that has searched us and has known us. That knows our sitting down and our rising up; that understands our thoughts far off, and comprehends our path and our lying down. The One that is acquainted with all our ways, because there is not a word on our tongue that He doesn't know altogether. (Psalm 139:1-4) He was not surprised.
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Matthew 7:3-5
This verse speaks to me of environment first. Apparently, both the onlooker whom I will call the "judge" has a plank in their eye, and then the one they are looking at to judge has a speck of sawdust, so clearly they are in a place or environment that is creating this less than ideal issue for the both of them. Somebody call Osha and get these boys some safety gear! All jokes aside, I think this verse also speaks to a complete lack of self-awareness and the awareness of the environment they have clearly exposed themselves to. The language implies the "judge" isn't aware of their own circumstance or issue.
The best resolution I have found for removing objects from eyes is to be able to look into
a mirror to remove it. Sure, I can use my sense of touch and feel around with my finger to try to remove said object, but, I trust that method about as well as I do my emotions to make decisions for me. I usually end up scratching my eyeball, or worse, pushing the object deeper into my eye socket. So, a reflection is best. If I can use my sight to give me the knowledge it provides, then I can more accurately determine where the object causing this painful feeling is, and I can use my sense of touch and sight together to remove it.
I think it's also interesting how the words speak to the obstacle in the brother's eye as being "tiny" and that
of the "judge" as being a plank. You know visual perspective causes the objects closest to us to look the largest. So, if you become aware of the obstacle that has been obstructing your sight, it may seem gigantic--plank-sized even.
I have been in many environments in my life, both safe and unsafe. I have surrounded myself with trustworthy and untrustworthy. I have been a victim to the pain that comes with having a plank in my eye, whilst trying to remove sawdust from another's eye. I have made victims of others in that way. You can't truly help someone to remove an obstacle from their life when you can't even see the obstacles in your own. That would make about as much sense as going and buying a second home for vacations, when you are not even properly caring for and maintaining your 1st and current home. My domain, this body, this mind--that is the first thing that needs to be brought into order.
The kingdom of God is within. That's what the Bible says. The truth is, I have never really had dominion over this kingdom, this body, this being that makes me who I am. I have given that power over to everyone else little by little--my peers, church leaders, people I felt were good leaders or icons--idols most of them. All while never really seeing myself as and identifying as a child of God, that has been fearfully and wonderfully made. Did you know that the wording of this verse actually implies that the Creator himself made us with reverence and awe? What a thought! Indeed! I will praise thee! for I am fearfully and wonderfully made <mind blown>; marvelous are thy works (that means you and I are marvelous); and THAT, my soul knoweth right well. 15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. He knows all of us. The very substances that came together chemically to make this biology, to form this anatomy, to create the being you see in the mirror, that you go out and share with the world daily. So remember that. I am saying it to myself as much as anyone. He has given us all we need. We just have to believe the words He speaks to us and hold onto those thoughts, disregarding the accusations we hear that oppose that word. Whatever is true, noble, right, excellent, praiseworthy, think about such things.
There have been environments I shouldn't have let myself be in, people I shouldn't have surrounded myself with, boundaries I should have drawn and unneccessary fears I shouldn't have given power over to. Perhaps these are the things that Jesus speaks of when He concludes this section of Matthew with, "Do not give to dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces."
Protect your mind and your heart because they are sacred. Don't give them over to those people whom speak death into you, because those ruminating dead thoughts, will be the death of YOU, the real you. Don't allow those things that are pure and unpolluted (like that pearl) to be trampled on because of the methods and constructs the culture we live in has set into order. Don't allow your identity to be distorted by those voices that have spoken into life an identity that isn't God given.
You were born with everything that you need within yourself. Then, likely, you lived in an environment where comparison and measures were used daily and likely in the name of "good". In a world that says more is better, or you need this or that. Don't compare yours to what that voice tells you is "the measure", Jesus cultivated miracles, TRUE healing for others--talk about value, and he didn't even have a home.
If you struggle with your life, with having inner peace and with what your purpose is, ask (be willing to admit you don't have everything you need), seek (This implies there are things unknown to you at this point, so actively search, read, talk to trusted people and ask them things like "what am I good at" or "why do you consider me a friend" and knock (take action, do things you know can improve your physical state, therefore helping your state of mind. A healthy body, helps to create a good environment for a healthy mind and healthy thought processes--it's the temple). Jesus is with us the moment that we ask, the moment that we start to seek and the moment that we knock, He takes that journey with us. He resides in our journey. He is the way, the truth and the life.
Love this thanks for sharing