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Balancing motherhood and self-care is a challenge that many mothers struggle with. Yes, I'm raising my hand as I write this. Balancing motherhood and me has been a fine line to find. I know when I first became a mother, it felt like ALL OF ME became that. Especially, in those first few years. I was no longer Whitney, I was mom. I understood my role as mother was an important one and I wanted to live up to the standard set by all those great moms that came before me. One thing I failed to realize in the beginning though, is that I needed to remember Whitney too. I am a human and I still have needs. Sometimes that includes quiet time or a moment to re-cooperate (even if that re-cooperation looks like a desperate mother in a kitchen floor scarfing down an oatmeal creme pie)
As a mother, your time and energy are often focused on taking care of your children and family. However, taking care of yourself is just as important to ensure that you can be at your best and serve your loved ones from a place of energy and abundance rather than depletion. Over the last 17 years, I have come to realize there are certain things that help me to maintain everything a little better, and not find myself resentful or overwhelmed at the end of the day/week:
1. Prioritize self-care (I know, I know you first thought might be, "I don't want to be selfish" but, what I found is if I'm angry because I'm overstimulated, I am not bringing my best self to the table as a mother) : Make it a priority to take care of yourself, just as you prioritize taking care of your family. This means carving out time for things that help you relax, recharge, and feel good about yourself. Whether it's going for a walk, taking a long bath, reading a book, or practicing meditation, find what works for you and make it a part of your routine.
2. Ask for help (this one used to be difficult for me): You don't have to do everything on your own. Ask your spouse, family members, or friends for help with child care or household tasks so that you can have some time to yourself. It's okay to delegate some responsibilities to ensure that you have enough time for self-care.
3. Set boundaries (I am still working on this one, but getting better everyday. I want my kids to understand personal boundaries and having real conversations about my own as I outline them has been a really beautiful thing): Establish clear boundaries with your family and friends, including your children. Let them know when you need time alone, and ask them to respect your boundaries. It's okay to say "no" to things that don't align with your personal goals or priorities.
4. Be present: When you're spending time with your family, be fully present and engaged. This allows you to fully enjoy the time you have with them, as well as prevent you from feeling guilty for taking some time for yourself.
5. Let go of guilt: It's common for mothers to feel guilty for taking time for themselves, but it's important to remember that self-care is not selfish. In fact, it's necessary to ensure that you're able to care for your loved ones in the best way possible. In summary, balancing being a mom and taking time for yourself is all about prioritizing self-care, asking for help when needed, setting boundaries, being present, and letting go of guilt. By doing so, you'll be able to serve your family and loved ones from a place of abundance rather than depletion.
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